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Recovering Narcissists Can’t:

Because All Narcissists Always: 

  • Defend themselves
  • Say they’re being a victim
  • Dismiss the other person’s concern
  • Decline they did anything wrong
  • Minimize the actual impact
  • Criticize and fight to distract from the issue
  • Crawl back with obsequious promises and sugar

There’s literally nothing Recovering 

Narcissists can say without being “Narcissistic” even if sometimes they should. 

A Recovering Narcissists who doesn’t want to be that way:

  • Doesn’t defend themselves -> Recovering Narcissists have to “not defend” and can be blamed for anything and everything including both sides of the whole mess. 
  • Doesn’t say they’re being a victim > Recovering Narcissists can be treated any way you like.  They can be verbally abused, treated unfairly and insulted and cannot feel or claim they were wronged.
  • Doesn’t dismiss the other person’s concern -> In an argument you can expand, omit or embellish ‘facts’ to make a point and Recovering Narcissists can’t contest it. 
  • Doesn’t decline they did anything wrong -> Recovering Narcissists can be accused of anything real or recalled without contradiction. If Recovering Narcissists decline anything, especially false accusations, it’s gaslighting.
  • Doesn’t minimize the actual impact -> Experiences that trigger prior PTSD or ‘hit a nerve from a past life’ can get as ‘big and histrionic’ as they want without comment from Recovering Narcissists.
  • Doesn’t criticize and fight to distract from the issue -> Recovering Narcissists can be verbally abused and insulted and cannot get angry, respond or throw it back. 
  • Doesn’t beg, gift or ingratiate to get their partner back. The partner allows continuation, or burns it down. Recovering Narcissists just have to wait.

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